THE PORTAL HUB - Pinzgauers, Haflingers, Volvo 303s and more!

Hi, everyone! I've created this thread for us to share a few full-hearted laughs, something to lighten up the day when the going gets rough or you just needed something to pick you up from a gloomy day. Let me start this up with a few shorts:

This new thesaurus I bought is the worst..

Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need..

...just five more minutes.

What's the difference between a Greyhound Bus depot and a lobster with a boob-job?
One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A leech lets go when you die.

undysworld wrote:What's the difference between a Greyhound Bus depot and a lobster with a boob-job?
One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.

Hahaha! That definitely made my day.

Why can communists only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

3 drunk guys entered a taxi..

The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination."

The 1st guy gave him money and the 2nd guy said: "Thank you!"

The 3rd slapped the driver.

The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked, "What was that for?"

The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

A heavyset lady boarded a bus with a duck under her arm. A drunk at the back of the bus yelled out "Hey, where'd you get the pig?" She said "I'll have you know that this is a duck." And he replied "I was talking to the duck!"

A termite walked into a bar; said "Where's the bar tender?"

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Prime mates.

With the rise of self-driving vehicles..

We shall soon hear a country song about a guy's truck leaving him too.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection..

Except for Up, he’s never gonna give you Up.

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you, and be glad that you are alive?

I did and apparently will not be allowed on this airline again..

I don't know how to do this any other way. Check out this guy's story. Best way to get out of a speeding ticket. Not really a joke, but it's really funny!!
https://www.facebook.com/drivetribe/vid ... =2&theater

What rock group has four men who don't sing ?






Mount Rushmore

Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other, "Do you smell something fishy?".

Hint: If you don't get it, ask someone younger than nine.